Labor education is necessary for freshmen at Chaoyang University of Technology. What is the labor education? Labor education means cleaning the campus. Labor education is a compulsory subject. If you failed in this subject, you have to clean the campus again next year till you pass it.
If I do not have class in the afternoon, I will stay in the dormitory. And then I have to go to the farthest building to do my clean job on the campus at 5:30. Sometimes I do not stay at school, but I have come back to do the bloody clean job. Actually, it makes me feel annoyed and bored. Although the clean job is easy, I still think it really wastes my time. However, I sometimes doubt why I have to do the labor education. Maybe the purpose of the labor education is used to clean. However, I suppose the other reason is that they did not have enough money to employ the laborers so they ask freshmen to do it. We can make friends by the labor education, which is the only one advantage.
Although the labor education is annoying, it’s important to keep a clean environment. It’s so poor for freshmen to do this. Fortunately, I am going to be a sophomore!!
Fortunately we are!
回覆刪除Wow, Grace,
回覆刪除這一篇真是順暢痛快的感覺!
寫得很好喔,
但是ending可以在順一點，我可以了解你要表達什麼，但是要再插個一兩句讓它順一點，該寫的還是得寫出來，不能漏掉，不然就不順了
其他如下:
1. Labor education is a necessary thing for freshmen at Chaoyang University of Technology.
文法完美
但是necessary thing...有點...怪
2. What is the labor education? Labor education means cleaning the campus. Labor education is a compulsory subject. If you failed in this subject, you have to clean the campus again next year till you pass it.
寫得很好, 流暢
3. If I do not have class in the afternoon, I will stay in the dormitory. And then I have to go to the farthest building to do my clean job on the campus at 5:30 especially.
especially不搭, 請改別字或delete
4. Sometimes I do not stay at school, but I have come back to do the bloody clean job.
開頭加個linking word讓它轉折
5. Actually, it makes me feel annoying and boring.
annoying? or annoyed? boring or bored?
6. Although the clean job is easy, I still think it really waste my time.
有個動詞的形式錯了
7. I sometime consider why I have to do the labor education.
doubt是不是比consider更貼切?
sometime少了什麼?
8. Maybe the purpose of the labor education is used to cleaning. I suppose the other reason that they did not have enough money to employ the laborers so they ask freshmen to do it.
這兩句要修一下, 第一句is used to cleaning...怪，可以簡化
第二句要加個linking word/phrase
other reason that中間少了動詞
9. We can make friends by the labor education that is the only one advantage.
這裡的形容詞字句用錯了喔, 請改
10 Although the labor education is annoying, it’s important to keep a clean environment. Fortunately, I am going to be a sophomore!!
最後一句很好!
但是如aforementioned, ending可以在順一點，我可以了解你要表達什麼，但是要再插個一兩句讓它順一點，該寫的還是得寫出來，不能漏掉，不然就不順了