I have a lot of unforgettable events in my life. The most unforgettable one is the tour that I went to Kenting National Park with my family for two days.
We had good weather these days. The sky was high and blue. My father took us to Kenting by car. We were stuck on the free way because an accident happened on the way there. It took us a long time because of traffic jam. We all slept in the car except my father. He was so painstaking but he did not complain about it. Finally, we arrived in Kenting National Park. First, we went to check in at the hotel. We lunched in a restaurant. After that, we had fun at the beach. The scenery was good. We went surfing and swimming in water. What fun we had!! And then we had a delicious dinner. We went back to the hotel in the end.
On the second day of the tour, after we check out the hotel first, we ate brunch at midday. We visited National Museum of Marine Biology and Aquarium. We could see plenty of displays. There were many shows that a man fed the fish in water. And then we had dinner. When we were leaving the museum, we saw the place was very crowded there. We felt curious so we approached them. And we found that it was a live telecast. We were so excited about that!
In this tour, I felt very happy. I very much enjoyed these days. I hope I could travel abroad with my family someday!!
Hi 葛瑞絲,
回覆刪除寫得不錯，很narrative!
基本上敘述文上沒有什麼問題，其他的就是小文法問題而已，如下
1.I have a lot of unforgettable event in my life.
eventS
2. The most unforgettable event is the tour that I went to Kenting National Park with my family for two days.
這裡跟上一句是接著的，所以event不用再寫一次，寫one就好
3. We had good weather these days. The sky is high and blue.
is ---> was
4. We were stuck on the free way because an accident happened on the way to Kenting. It took us a long time because of traffic jam.
to Kenting不用寫出來，因為上一句才剛寫過Kenting
所以改 We were stuck on the free way because an accident happened on the way there.
5. Finally, we arrived in Kenting National Park. First, we went to check in at the hotel. We lunched in a restaurant. After that, we had fun at the beach. The scenery was good. We went surfing and swimming in water. What fun we had!! And then we had a delicious dinner.
寫得很順
6. We went back the hotel in the end.
We went back to the hotel in the end.
7. The Second day of the tour, after we check out the hotel first, we ate brunch at midday.
--> On the second day of the tour...
8. We could see a plenty of displays.
plenty of 而非 a plenty of
9. And then we would have the dinner.
-->And then we had dinner.
10. And we found that there were live telecast.
-->And we found that it was a live telecast.
11.In this tour, I felt very happy. I very much enjoyed in these days.
enjoy後要直接接受詞
12. I hoped I could travel abroad with my family someday!!
這是過去的希望還是現在的希望?
應該是現在的因為你用some day，所以時態上要改